Dear Friends,
This is not a forward but a subject very close to my heart.Please go through this patiently. I would appreciate if you can respond back to my mail….
“If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character…Would you slow down? Or speed up?”
Chuck Palahniuk quotes (American freelance Journalist, Satirist and Novelist. b.1961)
Life,the way I see it is a LEARNING PROCESS where everything that you go through good or bad is a learning experience. Each one is expected to learn from it and only if you do, you progress in life,if not it keeps throwing similar situations at you time and again till you learn finally.This is an answer to all those who keep asking ” why does this keep happening to me again and again?”Once your learning is complete then you relinquish this life time and progress on to your next where you experience life all over again. You are enlightened by learning more and it goes on for many life times with the SOUL remaining constant in them all.Like I said before if you do not learn from one life time that which you are expected to learn, you go through similar situations in the next life time and it goes on and on until you learn. Yes, it might take thousands of life times to attain NIRVANA,but then to reach that state of blissfulness would not be easy right?
The topic on life would not be complete if we did not mention death; the dreaded word! Death, in my point of view is just a process of crossing over of the soul. Just like birth,death is also just an event.When we celebrate birth why cant we at least discuss inevitable death so that we can try to dispel the fear of it and be prepared for it whenever it comes rather than be shocked and ignorant.
Relationships; attachments without which life would be incomplete, is something we nurture. As we grow up, be it the attachment to our parents ,spouse or our children-people who are there with you in this life,it’s the intensity of attachment that differs with each one.We are afraid to die for the fear of leaving the ones we love or the ones we are so attached to… I am not saying here that we should not be attached to our loved ones because life is eventually all about loving.All I say is we must all accept death, the way we have accepted many other incidents in life like happiness, success, sorrow and treat death as a part of life.For some the fear of death would also be due to the fear of the unknown! The same rule applies to them too-acceptance.
I have discussed in my earlier mails about the choice one has to make when one falls terminally ill or is affected with cancer as to how one has to let go and accept destiny.If you were to reach a situation in life where you are diagnosed with a terminal condition for which nothing can be done medically or you have aged and your organs are failing and you know that the inevitable is in front of you, then how would you like your end to be?Do give it thought as it is inevitable! I see most of us opting for the choice 1 that I have mentioned below without even giving it a thought as it’s the done thing!
CHOICE I
Rush to the nearest corporate hospital where they admit you into the ICU.Connect your nose throat and hands and in some cases legs and neck also with tubes and needles and pump in endless medication. Then put you on the ventilator where you are conscious of everything that happens around you but you are helplessly looking around.When you look to your right you have a white curtain,left- a white curtain, straight- again a white curtain.Of course you cant look back or down as your are tied up with all cords and tubes, and finally the best view up,white ceiling again! Anguished,scared family members come in during visiting hours sit with you holding your hands wishing as much as you do to get you out hale and hearty ! Visits by the doctor or nurse asking you how you are and then what? Most of the day or night goes by hearing the beep beep of the monitor and sadly but eventually when the end comes you are all alone not knowing what to expect as you are scared and want to convey so much but you cant ! Finally then with great fear and anxiety you embrace death!!
This is not an exaggeration as I have been fortunate to be a part of many a patients family and been with them through this!
CHOICE II
When you know that your end is near why don’t you accept it and get yourself admitted in THE CENTRE FOR CROSSING OVER. You will be taken care of medically by Allopathic doctors trained in pain management along with alternative systems of medicines like Homeopathy,Ayurveda,Yoga,Reiki and healers who will take care of your discomfort without any aggressive treatment.
Once you settle down, a team of trained people will counsel you and your immediate family about death , what to expect when you are dying ,tell you the process of dying and what happens after you die. In your last days lets you do what you want (being reasonable in demands) like read,watch television,play a board game,a drink or a smoke or let you meet your near and dear without any restriction! Eventually at the time of your death you will leave in peace without any fear surrounded by people who mean the world to you.
You may argue with me “but doc you are taking away a possible chance of a recovery by avoiding aggressive treatment”,Yes you are right I may be taking away a 1% chance of a recovery but then if you believe that you have been sent into this world with a destiny then the number of breaths you are allowed to take in this life time cannot change! If you are predetermined to die at a particular time you will. Any howwhat quality of life are you talking about once you recover from a terminal illness? A burden to others and living at the mercy of others?
It has always been my dream and let me share it with all of you to develop a CENTRE FOR THE DYING ,lets call it CROSSING OVER.My dream is to open a centre (don’t want to call it a hospital) which is surrounded by trees, lots of open space and comfortable rooms having all the medical facilities required to keep the dying person pain free and free from discomfort as much as possible.A library,garden,tv room and music room, meditation room, a bar <<< why not a bar???>>>>. might as well have a drink or two!! Why not someplace where you feel at home where you are not staring at white walls and white curtains and people in white clothes!!.
Guess I have said enough and if there are professionals, industrialists, doctors, lawyers, psychologists, and most importantly good human beings out there who shares a passion like i do and feel that we could together make this dream place come true do write back to me(please don’t just write…Doc, I am with you and leave it at that. please express yourself in detail) and make the crossing over anguish free.
We can have a series of discussions and even people who are against this please write back to me so that I get to know your view too. Lets keep this going at least on paper and who knows a day might come soon when it could become a reality!!
I end with yet another quote which caught my eye:
“To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one’s own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses: so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there”. ~Friedrich Nietzsche,Expeditions of an Untimely Man
- Dr Manoj